Of friendship

I was cleaning out things in my room preparing for the coming spring semester when I found this little paper in my desk drawer. It's about the "Anatomy of a True Friend". This is the description:


Eyes:    Will always see you for the way you really are, your true self
Ears:     Will always have them open to listen
Mouth: To always tell you the truth and give their opinion and tell you when you mess up 
            or do something good
Shoulders:  Will offer when you need one to cry on and will be your strength when you 
             find hard to carry yourself. Will always let you lean on them.
Heart:  To love you for who you are and not judge. Will always have a place there for you
Hands: To hold yours when you need a little guidance; to lend when you need help, and to 
            help you get up when you may fall.
Arms:  Will always make you feel comfortable in them and to offer hugs when you need 
            one
Feet:    To walk with you throughout your life and be the best friend they can be.

There is a miracle called friendship that dwells in the heart. One does not know how it happens or when it gets its start. It just happens. To embark on a life's journey having someone to talk to and trust to as one discovers the mystery of life is a precious gift from God. In the service of the Gospel and the people of God, some raise the question (at least few that I came in contact with) that we should love and treat all in general way. It is true that we should treat and serve our brothers and sisters as they are needed to be treated and served but,

Could it be contrary to charity to have loved one friend more than another? Yet, we find our Savior Jesus Christ to have had a particular friend. " ...he looked at his mother and the disciple whom he loved... John 19:26)". Yes, Jesus has a favorite friend. However having particular friend/s  did not deter Him from fulfilling the mission entrusted to Him by the Father and for that reason He became one of us.

"This only shows us how entirely Jesus was a man as much as any of us, in his wants and feelings; that there is nothing contrary to the spirit of the Gospel, nothing inconsistent with the fullness of Christian love, in having our affections directed in a special way towards certain objects, towards those whom the circumstances of our past life, or some peculiarities of character, have endeared us." (Blessed John Henry Newman)


True Christian friendship is one that is pattern from our Lord's love for John. Jesus' love for John did not prevent Him from living in obedience and fulfilling the Will of His Father. Divine providence allows us to experience natural feelings towards our earthly friends without contrary to what is right and good even as we fix our supernatural vision to what God is calling us . We gaze upon the face of God and see Him in our brothers and sisters.

For a friendship to be true and lasting it needs to be purified. Jesus was to fulfill the Will of God unto the cross and John, the beloved was there present with Him at the foot of the cross with Mary. This friend whom Jesus' loved continued his journey on earth loving Jesus his Friend and Teacher in the company of Mary, our Lord's beloved mother. True Friendship will endure if it is free to submit and to do God's will. There should be freedom to let go and offer a sacrifice for the greater good even if it may require an ultimate sacrifice. Sacrifice without counting the cost, even it will cost one's life. Fidelity to this friendship does not only remain in this world and ends in death. True friendship in pattern to Jesus' and John's goes beyond life.

We have a true friend who accompanies us till the end of our life's journey and welcomes us in the next.  One who will walk with us through life's ups and down and will not leave us alone. One who said, "even a mother forgets her child, I will not forget you; I no longer call you servant but friend; I will be with you always until the end of time."  One who for our sake consecrates himself that we may be with Him always.

Jesus is the prototype of the true friend we all look for. He who loves us, each in a particular and unique friendship that goes beyond the boundary of this temporal reality. John exemplifies fidelity to this friendship who until the end of his life did not fail to witness to the life of his beloved Friend and Lord, preserving that friendship to eternity.

When we desire true friendship with the Lord, we are saying we want to love Him in a particular way, so that as we love Him deeply, we could love others in His love deeper. That is what true friendship  is all about, desiring to love the Lord more each day, that in loving Jesus we can love our brothers and sisters more in His love.

So then the essence and foundation of a true friendship is pure love, a selfless love. "No greater love than this, to lay down one's life for a friend", so that one can take it back again, in the next. True friendship transcends time and space but it begins here on earth.

"Always" the word I wish to describe true friendship, because time cannot bind its existence; it is called spiritual friendship, a companion that lasts...from here to eternity. May we all find one such as the friendship that binds Jesus and and the disciple whom he loves -John. God Bless.