I am searching but it is night...

When one lost a loved one how does one celebrate Christmas? How do we give comfort to someone who is experiencing a lost of someone who means a lot to you? My thoughts are with the families from Newtown, Connecticut.  Like all of you, my prayers accompany them in this difficult times.

I received an email from a reader sharing her perspective of  hope as THE GIFT that can help a grieving person.  Here is part of the email:



"Love can cause you terrible pain as much as it gives you so much joy when you have it and when it is taken away from you ... it is pure pain. Yes I mean taken away; snatched from you. This is what I am experiencing now. My faith is being put to the test, purified..I am confused, what had gone wrong, I asked? My hope is being challenged to a highest degree. I see cloud, obscurity. I am powerless, I can't do much to save what was taken away, I am obliged not to act; I am bound to accept the unfortunate turn of event. I did not know it was coming until it came and hit me unprepared. The person whom I thought I was helping and in good faith I've shared life, joy and good memories suddenly without clear reason and explanation just turned back away from me, cut-off any contact and disappeared. It is night...

I am grieving. I wish I am numb so as not to feel the pain, the sorrow. Emotional pain is harder to endure than physical pain. There seems to be no end to it, no cure. Every day is a struggle. How could one forget the good memories shared? But remembering causes pain? Tell me? I am dying inside. It is true one needs to wear the shoes of a person grieving to understand how it feels to lose  someone. No word could explain my grief. Where do I find consolation? When does healing begins? What should I do so that I can move-on with my life? My will says turn to God, the Love Himself.  I think dying is part of turning to God so that my whole being will submit without hesitation and accept the reality  that everything is over.  In surrender, in letting go and abandon the rest to God, maybe the  glimpse of hope is a promised consolation.

I want to believe that in time the pain of grief will just be a memory of the past. But grief does not actually disappear, one just learn to live with it in hope.  I know, I must be still and keep silent...I want to close my eyes hoping that this night will be over or it is just a dream.

In silence I realize that "true virtue is recognized in time of trial”. Acceptance, abandonment. The Lord knows everything and sees the heart. There is no need to search for reason. If we believe that things happen for a reason and that God permits this to happen then we should know that the ways of God is "high as the heaven from the earth". Acceptance even it overpowers comprehension is a gift I ask from God. I trust God. Submission for He never abandons.

It is night... But Christ came into the world in the middle of the night? Our Hope came in obscurity to free those in bondage of hopelessness and bring them hope.

It is night...  I have to remain and be still and wait until my Hope leads me out of darkness...
It is night, the gift I received this Christmas... Is this the gift I want? It is the gift I was given. I know night precedes dawn... I will wait and hope that the glimpse of dawn will come soon. I will wait...